it's been too long

Wow, I can't believe that it has almost been a year since I last blogged. Lots has happened since thern. I hope to get back to blogging a bit more regularly until then here is an updated picture of my little Lucy. She has changed SO much in the last year.

really?

You know there are days when I wonder what life is going to throw at me next. Things have been pretty rough lately. I've done my best to hold myself together and keep my head up. Tommy was called back to work a month earlier than expected. Great! A few days after that my mom fell while carrying Lucy. She (my mom) ended up with a shattered ankle. Nothing three plates and 30 screws wouldn't fix. Fast forward a few more days and Lucy got sick. I finally gave in and took her to the Dr. He listened to her lungs and sent us for a chest x-ray. Poor thing had pneumonia and both ears were slightly infected. Luckily she loved her medicine and was better in a about a week. Tommy's work picked up and he was putting in a lot of overtime. I was starting to a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. What was I thinking? This past Monday I got a phone call at 3:55am. Tommy had fallen at work and broke his ankle. I couldn't believe what his supervisor was telling me. I had to quickly get myself together and get Lucy packed up. I took her over to my parents' because I didn't really have any other option so early in the morning. I'm very thankful that he was not hurt any worse. He too had to have surgery. He does not have as much metal as my mom though. He has six non-weight bearing weeks ahead of him. He got a new cast put on Friday and since then he seems to be in bit more pain. He spends his time in the recliner with his leg elevated on at least one pillow.

Throughout all of this Lucy has had a hard time coping. After the fall with my mom she was scared to go outside. She still says, "Snow? Ice?" when we leave the house or get out of the car. When we are at my parents house she stays away from my mom. She doesn't know what to think about the changes. Now that her daddy is hurt as well she is really out of her element. She is acting up more (I can't keep up with her getting into things), needs me more than usual (pretty much just follows me around and doesn't really play), is not sleeping through the night (goes down in her own bed but ends up in bed with me at some point), is not eating as well and in general is just not herself. We have been very patient with her and I'm talking to her about what happened and that it is okay. I found a book that talks about different "boo boos". If she needs help with something I have her ask her dad. We took her with us on Friday to get his new cast on. I thought it would do her good to see that his leg is under there and see the new cast go on. She did very well considering. Tommy went with a colorful cast hoping that it would be more appealing to her. I thought it was pretty sweet. Not too many men would go around sporting a pink stripped cast! I know this will all pass and there will be many more experiences that we will have to work through as a family. I just hate to see my little girl scared of her grandma and daddy.

I'm finding it difficult to find the balance between it all. Work is busier than ever. Lucy is requiring more attention than usual. Tommy can't do anything. I feel like I haven't done enough for my mom. Housework is something that I just can't seem to find the time for. I'm trying my best to continue to keep it all going. Last week I was so exhausted by the time Lucy and I sat down that I was almost asleep before her. Right now I'm looking forward to spring and warmer weather. Although that just means that the grass is going to grow and I have no idea how to use the lawn mower! Ha.

I had more cohesive thoughts for a blog post earlier today but I must have lost them somewhere between changing Lucy's poopy diapers and emptying my husband's urinal.

20 months

Things around the Moxey house have been a bit stressful lately.  Tommy's lay off was extended until March.  I'm trying my best to stay positive and enjoy the little everyday things.  I thought I would share a bit of Lucy cuteness with everyone.  Here is a little video I took the other day. 

18 months

Just a little video update of our little Lucy.

Leland Jay

Leland Jay

Born 10-13-10

11:15 p.m.

6lbs 8 oz

20 inches

Welcomed home by my brother Luke and his wife Mindi and big sister Clara.

Congratulations to them!

Camillia Mae

Meet Camillia Mae- my gorgeous niece born yesterday, 9-20-10 @ 7:52 p.m.

8 lbs. 13 oz

21 1/2 inches

The new little family.  How cute are they? 

It is hard to believe that my little brother is a dad. 

Congratulations Tony and Rami!

july 2010

Wow, the summer seems to be flying by.  I can't believe how quickly the days go by!  Lucy started fully walking on July 5th.  Now she is everywhere.  Tommy is working the midnight shift and a lot of weekends so that really limits what we can do.  We are making the best of things though. 



Above is a little video of Lucy feeding the fish at a lake near our house.  My mom and I took her out there a couple of weeks ago. 

She had Roseola two weeks ago.  She had a high fever for two days then she got a rash.  It was pretty rough on both of us.  Basically all she wanted was for me to hold her.  I was so glad when she got back to normal.  Sick babies are no fun.  Especially when there is nothing you can do to make them feel better but wait it out. 

Ever since I stopped nursing her she has had troubles sleeping all night in her crib.  Until now she has always slept in her own bed without any problems.  Right around her first birthday she was sick with a cold.  She had a really hard time breathing and could not sleep.  I laid with her in my bed trying to keep her comfortable and trying to get some sleep myself.  That was one of the first times she slept with me pretty much all night.  Shortly after that is when we stopped nursing.  Since then there has only been a few times when she actually slept in her own bed all night.  Generally she will go down and then wake up at either 10:30 or 3:30 and call out, "Mom. Momma. Mommy." When I pick her up she puts her little arms around my neck and gives me a big hug.  Then she turns towards the doorway and points letting me know that she wants to go to my bed.  I have tried everything to keep her in her bed.  One can only handle so much crying at 3:30am, especially when you have to get up to get ready for work in a few hours.  Long story short, I am doing what I swore I would NEVER do, let my little girl sleep in my bed.  It really hasn't been all that bad.  Like I said before, Tommy is working midnights now so he is not here.  On the weekends we just deal with it.  Last night she actually stayed in her own bed all night. 

One night this week she actually fell out of my bed.  I woke up and realized that she was not there.  It took me a second to remember if she was supposed to be.  I keep my snoogle body/pregnancy pillow on Tommy's side of the bed to (I thought) keep her from rolling out.  Anyway, once I realized that both her and the pillow were no longer on the bed I peered over the side.  She was fast asleep on Barbie's pillow on the floor.  We keep an extra bed pillow on the floor right by the bed for Barbie to sleep on.  I guess when she rolled out she fell right on it and it didn't even wake her up.  Crazy!  I scooped her back up and put her back in bed. 

Parenthood is an adventure.  We are enjoying all the ups and downs and Lucy continues to amaze us each day.  What a joy she is.  Sounds like she just woke up from her afternoon nap, guess I better wrap this up!

baby steps

Monday Lucy took her first steps. At lunch I walked into the sitter's house to find my little girl standing unassisted in the middle of the living room. She had a look of fear on her face and was kind of crying. I didn't move a muscle. I stood there in the doorway with the door still open. Her sitter had a ball in her hands and was encouraging Lucy to walk towards her. She took five steps towards her. I had to hold back the tears. She has taken more steps since then but pretty much only when encouraged by one of us. I know it won't be long before I'm chasing her all over the place!!

big girls don't need booby milk

Tommorrow morning will be the week mark for Lucy being completely weaned.  She gave up the night feeding right after her birthday but we were still nursing in the morning.  Last Wednesday I was running very late for work so I decided to just not nurse her.  I was so nervous that I would be uncomfortable or that she would freak out.  Turns out that neither happened.  I did feel a little full but never too bad.  I'll admit I'm sad about being done with breastfeeding.  Is it weird to say that I really enjoyed it?  There were days in the beginning when I wondered how I would ever make it a whole year.  The early days were painful and tiring.  It would take forever to feed her.  I felt like that was all I did.  Probably because it was!  When I went back to work full time after 8 weeks and started pumping I really didn't know if I would be able to keep it up.  My two 15 minute breaks were spent hooked up to my pump.  I had a daily battle on my hands trying to keep up with Lucy's demands for milk.  With encouragement I stuck with it and I'm so glad I did.  I would not give up the time spent for anything. 

Earlier tonight I told Tommy that I really wanted to nurse her one last time.  He told that probably wasn't a good idea.  I'm just having a hard time with the fact that my baby does not need me in that way anymore.  He reassured me that she will always need me in one way or another.  I guess I just assumed that it would be Lucy who had to be convinced it was time to stop, not me!  Of course now that she is not nursed to sleep we have the issue of no bed time routine.  That is a whole other issue that I'm trying to work on.  Tonight she was actually in bed at a reasonable hour.  I know that change takes time so I'm just being patient and trying to see what is going to work for us.

I also wanted to put up an update on her Dr.'s appointment.  She weighs 18 lbs 2 oz and is 29 1/4 inches.  She is still in the low end for her weight and average height.  Her Dr. is not concered since she has been there all along.  She also did great with her immunizations.  I'm so glad that I can get them done at my office.  I feel so much more comfortable having someone I work with give them to her!

Lucy's Pinwheel 1st Birthday Party and some updates

(A Knight Light Photo)

Sunday was my little girl's 1st birthday.  We had a pinwheel theme for the party.

I can't tell a lie, my mom did a majority of the work.  Besides cake we also had BBQ pulled pork, italian deer roast sandwhiches, crescent pinwheel veggie pizzas, pasta salad (made by a good friend) and some other munchies. 

The picture collage was designed by Kimberly and I had it printed at my office.  It is so fun. I made some pinwheels from scrapbook paper we hung them up. I had plans to make a ton more but that never happened.  You can't really tell in the picture but under the collage there are the glass vases from our wedding (Happy 4 years to us today by the way).  They are half full of Cheerios and have a pinwheel in them that my mom found at Hobby Lobby. 

The large colorful pinwheel cake was the main cake.  My mom made a small "1" cake for Lucy's smash cake.

I was so worried about the weather that day but God blessed us with a beautiful day to celebrate.  We were able to be outside instead of in our small house.  Lucy received so many nice gifts.  She has had so much fun playing with everything this week.  Of course right after we got done getting everything out of the boxes and in her play area in the living room she promptly crawled (no walking yet) over to the kitchen and played with the Tupperware.  Typical.

(Taken by Kimberly)

Tomorrow is her 1 year check up and immunizations.  I'm really not looking forward to those visits.  Lucy has a really hard time with being around strangers.  Tommy will be working so I'm flying solo.  I am looking forward to having the rest of the day off with her though.  She is such a bundle of joy. She jabbers all the time.  Some of the things she says are, "Hi", "Bye" "Eye" (I realize they are are similar sounds but I can tell the difference), "Ball", "Dog", "Dada", "Mama", "Swing" "Fish", "What's That?".  Most of them don't come out real plain, but if you are around her enough you know what she is saying. As I mentioned above she is not walking yet, but we are not rushing things around here.  She pulls up on everything and cruises around on the furniture.  This week she decided that she was too big to nurse before bed.  For three nights in a row so far she has not needed a feeding before falling asleep.  I still nurse her in the morning before I leave for work/the sitter's.  She has not taken real well to cow's milk so far but we are working on it.  She does get dairy in other forms though.  Her 6th tooth (right front) just came through this week as well.  Teething, as Kimberly and I have recently discussed, is one of the worst parts of parenting.  It has been so hard for me to keep up with things lately.  I can't even tell you the last time I sat down and watched an episode of House or Grey's Anatomy.  I hope to do better about keeping up with this blog during her second year. 

feeling thankful

Today I'm feeling thankful for my healthy, happy, beautiful girl.

I thought I'd put up a quick post with a picture of her from last week.  The Circus came to town last Wednesday.  Tommy was working so my mom and I took Lucy.  We had a great time.  Lucy loved watching everything going on.  I'm glad my mom took us!!

in denial

I'm totally in denial that my daughter will be 1 in less than a month.  Plans are in the works for her first birthday bash but I'm still having a very hard time wrapping my mind around it.  Last week I was going through some of her clothes and came across one of her newborn onesies and I about lost it. I can remember my mom and I getting some of her clothes washed and ready before she was born.  We could not believe how small they were.  When she was first born they were even a little big on her. How did she get so big so fast?

We have so much fun with her.  She is so much like me but I also see a lot of her daddy in her. She is pulling and cruising more and more, but has not braved any steps yet.  On Easter weekend two more teeth broke through to make a total of 4.  She looks like a little vampire.  We have also dropped all of her daytime feedings.  She pretty much did that on her own.  I nurse her before work in the morning and then before bed at night.  That means that I'm no longer pumping.  What freedom that has brought for me.  I think we are both about ready to be done with nursing.  It is such a part of life that I don't know what it will be like to be done.

Lucy is doing so much better with letting other people hold her when I'm around.  Last Friday Lucy and I went to watch my cousins run at a track meet.   While we were there Lucy reached for my Aunt Paula and let her hold her for a good amount of time.  It is so good to see her interacting more others.

I know that the years will continue to fly by.  We are trying our best to savor every possible moment.

two years ago

Two years ago today-

The rug was pulled out from under me.  The life that Tommy and I created was suddenly gone.  At that time I had no idea if I would ever become a mom again.  I cried.  I cried a lot.  It was really hard for me to see beyond the hurt that I was feeling in that moment.  The seven months that passed between losing our child and finding out I was pregnant with Lucy were rough.  I can remember feeling like I was in a fog.  Life was just happening around me.  Looking back on that time I'm thankful that I had seven months to heal.  I needed that time so that I could be the best mom possible for Lucy.  Today my heart still aches for the child that I never held. I suppose that ache will lessen even more with time.  Lucy has made that ache easier to deal with.

Two years ago today-

I had no idea that I would soon be the proud momma to a beautiful, blue-eyed, strong willed little girl.  Lucy is now ten months old and I wonder where the time has gone.  I'm making plans for her first birthday party and I wonder how that is possible.  She has such a strong personality and that is coming out more and more with each day.  She has her momma's strong will and stubbornness.  We have so much fun with her.  Now that she is crawling she is all over the place exploring the world around her.  She gives me lots of kisses, but is stingy when it comes to giving her daddy kisses. I keep telling him that it has to do with the facial hair. Our lives are filled with joy because of her and I can't imagine what things were like before her. 

9 month updates

Some Lucy updates:

-Second tooth has emerged.
-Down to one bottle of my milk a day at the sitter's.
-I nurse her in the morning and before bed.
-Pulls herself to a standing postion.
-Babbles all the time.
-Favorite thing to say is dada.
-Mama comes out when she is upset.
-Started to crawl forward today.
-Can be a very picky eater for me.
-Doing better about being so clingy to me when around others.
-Weighs 16 lbs 6 oz.
-Is 27 1/2 inches long.
-Screams and flaps her arms when she sees her daddy.
-Screams and flaps her arms when my mom comes over.
-Likes to kiss her reflection in the mirror.

That's all the updates I can think of for now.

almost 9 months

Lucy is almost nine months old so I thought it was about time I post an 8 month update.  Let's just pause for a moment and let the fact that my baby is almost 9 months old sink in..... 

What have we been up to lately?  Honestly I can't even really remember the last few weeks.  I came down with a horrible sinus infection that kicked my butt for about 2 weeks.  It feels like I'm still trying to play catch up from that one. I'm just thankful that Lucy never got sick.

Lucy is still sleeping through the night.  Occasionally she will wake up but on most occasions just needs to be repositioned or given her pacifier (only uses that to sleep) and she is back asleep. She is generally asleep by 8:00 pm and wakes up anywhere from 6:00-7:00am.  I nurse her in the morning before I take her to the sitter's and again before bed. I'm still pumping during the day and I have not had to supplement with formula.  Most nights I still have to pump again to have enough milk.  I still have no back up supply in the freezer, but I'm not as stressed out about it as I was before. I'm still trying to make as much of her food as possible.  When I was sick that is one thing that I feel behind on.  I had planned to make a bunch of food the weekend I got sick.  It was such a hard thing for me to go to the grocery store and buy premade baby food for her.  I felt like a failure of a mother.  I know, I know stop it already.  I was sick and exhausted and down on myself.  Tommy reassured me that she would be just fine if I didn't make all of her food.  Since then I feel like we have been struggling with her eating.  She very much prefers homemade food.  Some of the foods that she likes are fresh green beans, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, acorn squash, mangoes, peaches, pears, bananas, kiwis, plums and blueberries.  So far I have not been very successful at disguising chicken or any other form of meat enough so that she will eat it.  Maybe she has her momma's keen sense of smell and knows before it even touches her lips that it is in there.  She has become a pro at feeding herself Cheerios and puffs and really enjoys them.

Lucy is not crawling yet.  She gets where she wants to by rolling/flopping around.  She can go backwards.  When it comes to trying to go forward she just kicks her feet and flaps her little arms.  She has started to pull up on things.  We'll see what the next few weeks bring.  Today Tommy and I got rid of the coffee table in the living room.  It was a collector of junk (totally my fault) and took up way too much space.  Now we have lots more room on the floor for Lucy to play. 

I'm not really sure how much she weighs.  If I had to guess I would say around 18 lbs.  Her next appointment is February 15th so we'll see how close I am.  She is mostly wearing size 6-9 mo.  There are still a few 3-6 mo. shirts that I have not put away that fit just fine.  We are up to 2 totes of clothes that are too small!! 

Something that she has started doing that I'm not too fond of it pinching/hitting my face.  It seems to only be something she does to me.  Since she was tiny she has liked to play with my face.  Now she thinks its funny to grab my lips and pull.  I have tried several different ways of correcting this behavior but we have not gotten over it yet.  She laughs at me when I tell her "No!" 

Right before Christmas Lucy's first tooth finally made an appearance.  You can get a little glimpse of it in the picture below.  She is currently working on the one right next to it.

I think that pretty much sums up the last month!

*Kimberly took the picture at the top of this post.  Love it.

Christmas 2009

Lucy sitting on her great grandpa's lap Christmas Eve.

Clara and her new puppy Sonny the Schnoodle.

Lucy loved tearing the paper.

And chewing on everything.

Clara and Lucy on Christmas morning at my parents.

Chewing and eating paper.

Looking cute in her purple jammies and red socks.

Lucy's new bookshelf that my dad made for her. Now we just need a day without rain/snow so we can get it home!

As you can see we had a wonderful time celebrating Lucy's first Christmas.  She received many lovely gifts.  It was so much fun to see her get excited about new toys.  Lucy did very well with all the excitement and staying up late. I'm looking forward to what 2010 has in store for us.

happy holidays

We are enjoying our little Lucy's first Christmas. We feel blessed and loved. Pictures to come.

month seven

Today marks 7 months since I first met my little girl. She is such a joy and keeps me busy. Here are a few things we have been up to this past month.

We helped daddy put up lights outside.

Started sitting up without falling over.

Put up our Christmas tree.

Met Santa and Mrs. Claus.

It has been a busy and exhausting month!!

being a mom

Before I was a mom I always knew that there were sacrifices that parents make for their children. Now that I've had the privilege of being a mommy for 6 months I know just what that means.  When I was pregnant I can remember laying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep between my numerous trips to the bathroom, wondering how I would cope with the lack of sleep when she was born.  Six months in and I don't think I've had more than 3 hours of sleep at a time.  There are few reasons for this: my husband's sleeping habits, our dog Barbie and Lucy.  Surprisingly I have adjusted to the lack of a full night's sleep. Generally I can make it through the day without feeling like total crap. Amazing how the body can adjust.  I guess it pretty much has to. 

Today I had to be out of town for a conference for my job. I had to be out of the house an hour earlier than normal and got home an hour later than normal.  That is the longest I have been away from my baby since she was born.  I thought for sure I would be fighting sleep by the end of the day, but I was totally fine.  I think the change in routine did me some good!!  Being gone all day also presented the issue of pumping on the road.  I took advantage of the morning and afternoon conference breaks do run out to the car and do this.  I have done this before but this time I had my mom's car and the windows are not tinted as dark as they are in my car.  I was creative and managed to be discreet.  At least I think I was!!  When I was sitting out in the freezing cold I had a good chuckle.  I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked with my jacket on backwards.  I also thought about all the time that I have put into pumping.  Lately I have been struggling with my supply again.  Seems to be an ongoing battle for me.  I still do not have a back up supply.  Most days I have to top off her bottles at lunch with the milk from my morning pumpings.  By now I figured that I would be able to keep up and even be ahead.  Is there anyone out there who has had similar issues?  Is there anyone who is even still reading this blog?  Ha! My goal is to breastfeed until she is a year old.  It is such a part of my daily routine now and I'm not ready to give up.  I will admit though that I look forward to the day when I can be away from her for a few hours without worrying about bottles and pumps! 

I'm not the first mommy to sacrifice time, sleep, sanity for their children and I will not be the last.  I think about my chidhood and how wonderful my mom was and it makes me smile. I know she gave up a lot to take care of my brothers and I.  Heck, she still does.  She's the kind of mom I want to be.  We are closer now than we ever have been and I think that is pretty neat.  I love you mom thank you for all you do/have done for my little family. You're the best.

1/2 year

Lucy is now 1/2 a year old.  The days are going by so quickly.  She is sitting up now fairly well on her own.

She is eating veggies like a champ. Fruits on the other hand she does not care for.  We have attempted banana, apples and pears so far. All of which she pushed back out and gave us a face such as:

I've got pears on reserve in the freezer for when she decides that fruits are no longer yucky. In a few days I'll give another fruit a go.  Any suggestions?

She continues to do very well during the day at the sitter's.  She gets to spend the day with her cousin which I think is pretty special.  I can already see a bond forming between them.  Going to work is becoming a little more difficult for me at times.  There are days when I just want to stay home and play. My evening are soooo short.  Lucy does not nap much during the day so by around 6:30 at night she is pretty much spent and wants to nurse and go to sleep.  Until recently she has been pretty much sleeping through the night.  Sleeping through the night in Lucy terms is until around 5:30.  This past week she has been waking up sometime in the middle of the night wanting to eat.  I'm guessing it has something to do with a growth spurt.  Hopefully she will get over that soon!  All that to say that I do not have much time to spend with her in the evenings and that makes me sad. There have been a few mornings that I shed a few tears before I left for work. It's hard leaving her, but it makes me feel better when I take her the sitter's and she smiles and reaches for her.  I know she is in excellent hands and is happy.

We are still cloth diapering full time. I love it. I do a load of diapers every other day. 

She is primarily wearing size 3-6 month. There are still a few 0-3 in her closet that fit but they really should be packed away because they are summery.  Last week I got all of the next size up clothing washed. It's fun to go through all the clothes and make new outfits.  Then there are the shoes.  Oh, for the love of cute little tiny pink shoes. Help me. I see an addiction coming on.

Lucy does really well when we are out and about. This past Saturday the girls in my family went on our annual outing for my grandma's birthday. Every November for over 20 years we have been getting together.  We go somewhere different every year.  We have shopped the various malls from St. Louis to Chicago.  Several years ago we took the train to Chicago and stayed the weekend.  It was an adventure to say the least.  It is always a great time full of laughs.  The past couple of years we have scaled down the shopping and just gone to eat at different tea rooms.  It was so neat to be able to bring my daughter along for the first time.  Here is a picture of our group this year. Mindi, my sister-in-law, is the only one missing out of it because she was taking it. 

It is so incredible to watch the bond between Lucy and her dad develop. Tommy has been around more now that he is not working midnights and is enjoying having more time to spend with her. 

It has been an incredible 6 months.  Tonight when I was laying her down I paused to look in the mirror while she was still in my arms.  It is just so much to take in that she is mine and only 6 months ago she was brand new to this world.  How did I get so lucky?  There are still a lot of days that my heart is heavy for the baby that I lost.  It is something that I have not talked much about. I thought that having Lucy in my life would make the loss easier.  It has but at the same time it is almost more difficult.  I can't really put it into words right now and I don't want to bring down this post.  God has blessed us so much over the 6 months and I can't wait to see what the next 6 brings.  Excuse me now, I must go take a peek at my sweet little girl....