two years ago

Two years ago today-

The rug was pulled out from under me.  The life that Tommy and I created was suddenly gone.  At that time I had no idea if I would ever become a mom again.  I cried.  I cried a lot.  It was really hard for me to see beyond the hurt that I was feeling in that moment.  The seven months that passed between losing our child and finding out I was pregnant with Lucy were rough.  I can remember feeling like I was in a fog.  Life was just happening around me.  Looking back on that time I'm thankful that I had seven months to heal.  I needed that time so that I could be the best mom possible for Lucy.  Today my heart still aches for the child that I never held. I suppose that ache will lessen even more with time.  Lucy has made that ache easier to deal with.

Two years ago today-

I had no idea that I would soon be the proud momma to a beautiful, blue-eyed, strong willed little girl.  Lucy is now ten months old and I wonder where the time has gone.  I'm making plans for her first birthday party and I wonder how that is possible.  She has such a strong personality and that is coming out more and more with each day.  She has her momma's strong will and stubbornness.  We have so much fun with her.  Now that she is crawling she is all over the place exploring the world around her.  She gives me lots of kisses, but is stingy when it comes to giving her daddy kisses. I keep telling him that it has to do with the facial hair. Our lives are filled with joy because of her and I can't imagine what things were like before her.