being a mom

Before I was a mom I always knew that there were sacrifices that parents make for their children. Now that I've had the privilege of being a mommy for 6 months I know just what that means.  When I was pregnant I can remember laying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep between my numerous trips to the bathroom, wondering how I would cope with the lack of sleep when she was born.  Six months in and I don't think I've had more than 3 hours of sleep at a time.  There are few reasons for this: my husband's sleeping habits, our dog Barbie and Lucy.  Surprisingly I have adjusted to the lack of a full night's sleep. Generally I can make it through the day without feeling like total crap. Amazing how the body can adjust.  I guess it pretty much has to. 

Today I had to be out of town for a conference for my job. I had to be out of the house an hour earlier than normal and got home an hour later than normal.  That is the longest I have been away from my baby since she was born.  I thought for sure I would be fighting sleep by the end of the day, but I was totally fine.  I think the change in routine did me some good!!  Being gone all day also presented the issue of pumping on the road.  I took advantage of the morning and afternoon conference breaks do run out to the car and do this.  I have done this before but this time I had my mom's car and the windows are not tinted as dark as they are in my car.  I was creative and managed to be discreet.  At least I think I was!!  When I was sitting out in the freezing cold I had a good chuckle.  I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked with my jacket on backwards.  I also thought about all the time that I have put into pumping.  Lately I have been struggling with my supply again.  Seems to be an ongoing battle for me.  I still do not have a back up supply.  Most days I have to top off her bottles at lunch with the milk from my morning pumpings.  By now I figured that I would be able to keep up and even be ahead.  Is there anyone out there who has had similar issues?  Is there anyone who is even still reading this blog?  Ha! My goal is to breastfeed until she is a year old.  It is such a part of my daily routine now and I'm not ready to give up.  I will admit though that I look forward to the day when I can be away from her for a few hours without worrying about bottles and pumps! 

I'm not the first mommy to sacrifice time, sleep, sanity for their children and I will not be the last.  I think about my chidhood and how wonderful my mom was and it makes me smile. I know she gave up a lot to take care of my brothers and I.  Heck, she still does.  She's the kind of mom I want to be.  We are closer now than we ever have been and I think that is pretty neat.  I love you mom thank you for all you do/have done for my little family. You're the best.