he says silly things even when he is awake

My cell phone rang (to the tune of Billy Joel's Piano Man) as I was leaving work today.

Me: Hello?
Tommy: Hey. How's my sugar plum that dances with fairies?
Me: You are crazy.
Tommy: I'm on my way home.
Me: Okay see you when you get here.
Tommy: Love you bye.
Me: Love you bye.

i'm the "big" sister

Tonight I went to my parents for a visit. Tommy is working afternoons and I just didn't want to be alone. My mom and I took a walk down the road, as is tradition after supper in the Armbruster household. It was a nice evening. I had my camera with me so I took a few shots along the way. After our walk, I wandered around her yard taking random pictures. I love taking pictures of pretty much anything. I'm not very good at it, but it just makes me happy. I did get up close and personal with some Japanese beetles which was pretty cool.

Being out in the yard brought back so many good childhood memories. My brothers and I used to have so much fun out there. We had the tree house, the sandbox, our bikes, our imaginations and so much more. Oh to be young again. Now we are all grown up with adult responsibilities. My brothers and I do not talk much anymore. We see one another on a pretty regular basis, but we just don't seem to connect much. I just hope that they know how proud I am of both of them and how much I love them. I would do anything for them. Hopefully as we grow older and have children (or more kids in Luke's case) we will grow close once again. No, we may not play "kick the can" or "toaster" anymore but they are still my little brothers and they mean the world to me. Seriously.

Well, this post did not go where I thought it would at all. Apparently my mind is going a million different ways. Perhaps it is time for bed?

I found this picture of us at Disney World. It was the early 90's. Yes, I'm wearing spandex bike shorts. This was pretty much my absolute favorite outfit that summer. I am also latched onto what might have been my first camera. It was a purple Minnie Mouse 110. Look how little Tony is! If I remember right it was his birthday the day we were there.

unexpected visitors: some good, some bad

This weekend I had an unexpected phone call from a friend I had not seen in a really long time. My friend Michelle called and said that she and her husband were going to be in town and would like to stop by. I met Michelle at Eastern when we were in grad school together. We had a lot of good times. It was nice to visit with her and Jestun. Unfortunately we didn't get to visit very long because Tommy and I had plans for the evening. Hopefully we can get together again soon.

It is always nice to reconnect in person. Emails and phone calls are nice, but seeing one another is so much better. I have not been very good about staying in contact with my friends near and far lately. I always think that I'm going to "be better about it" but that just does not happen. Honestly I think I have become somewhat of a hermit lately. Since I lost the baby I find myself just wanting to stay close to home. I guess I just want to feel sorry for myself and mope. I was pretty down this weekend (I had another unexpected/unwanted visitor on Saturday.) It was a good thing that I had plans for both Friday and Saturday nights. This prevented me from just sitting around the house crying. Apparently my body is still not ready. I guess I just have to be okay with that and be patient. Yeah, like I have much of that. I find myself in a much better mood after I get out and do something, anything. I suppose I just need to get my butt out of the house more. I can't change the past and dwelling on it is not doing me any good. I'm really looking forward to seeing Kimberly and Sondra in a few weekends! Hopefully that is enough to get me through the next few weeks.

sleepy silliness

Tommy is a sleep talker. Tonight I woke him up and had him go to bed. I went in and kissed him goodnight. Here is the conversation we had.

T: That was awesome.
J: What?
T: Our kiss.
J: Okay.
T: There should be a button for that that says, "Awesomeness".
J: A button for what?
T: Our kiss.
J: You mean like a button you wear.
T: Yeah.
J: What would you do with this button?
T: Wear it when you cook.
J: (laughing so hard at this point that I'm crying) Okay.

I started to walk out of the room and he calls me back.

T: Where are you going?
J: You are talking silly so I'm going to watch TV.
T: Well, scratch my back first.
J: Okay.

I scratched a few times and he fell back asleep. I love it that even in his sleep he makes me laugh.

I'll lend you my ear

Taken today at my grandma's.
There are days where I wake up and want nothing more than to shut off the alarm and stay in bed. Lately there have been more of those days. Today was one. My late night shopping trip wore me out. I remember those days at EIU when I was able to stay up until the wee hours finishing that paper or studying for that test I had put off until the last possible minute. I have fond memories of playing Tetris in lieu of studying. If I remember right, Kimberly may even have the evidence capture on VHS. I digress. I made it to work on time, somehow. Slowly I started my day deciding which chart to attack first. Oh the paperwork. Why must the state have so much paperwork? Why must we kill so many trees on a daily basis?

My morning was not all that bad. I left for lunch early so that I could get out and do an unexpected home visit. I was going to do it after my 2 already scheduled visits but decided to squeeze it in early. When I called to let them know I was coming early the son said, "Oh, bless you. I know you are busy. I really appreciate it." Ha. Just doing my job, sir. After that I went to see a client of mine that has been on our service since '96. Her home is aging with her and slowly falling apart. There are creatures large and small in there. I tried my best to not pay attention to the little dog licking my toes, but it was difficult to concentrate. She told me about her problems and I listened. We talked about her current service and add some things to help her out. As I was trying to leave she thanked me for everything we do for her and that she "doesn't know what she would do without the help." She gave me a hug (believe it or not she is shorter than me) and I told her she was welcome. My last client is what one would call a talker. I sat and listened to her stories and everything that has happened to her family lately: sickness, death, financial issues.

As I sat there I could not help but think that I am blessed. I have a job that allows me to go into homes of those who are in need. They have so many needs that I can not meet, but there is one thing I can do and that is to listen. How many people get to do that and get paid? Sure I ask them tons of questions and make them sign even more pieces of papers. Most of all though I listen and try my best to show them that I care about what it is they are going through and if there is any way at all I can help them out I will. My last client ran over a little and I didn't get back to work until after it was "quitting" time. Oh, well. If I made one person feel a little better today by letting some things out then I feel like I did my job. The paperwork can wait.

So, the moral of the story? When the alarm goes off and I don't want to get out of bed I'm going to try to remember days like today when I feel like I just might have mattered a little to someone out there. I know that I chose the right field. When I graduated high school 10 years ago I had no idea what Gerontology was. I never would imagine that I would some day earn my Masters degree in the field. God's hand was completely in this one.

I'll end my post with a picture of me showing off my rather large zucchini plants. Can you tell I'm proud of them?

warm weather and nothingness

I ran across this picture of a much younger me sporting my strawberry 'kini. Ah, those were the days...

It's been too long since my last blog. I wish I could say that I have been off on some amazing vacation but that would be a lie. My life has not been much different lately. I go to work, come home, eat supper and go to sleep. That's pretty much it. Emotionally I have been better. I think about my little one every day and ache because of him/her. At least it is not consuming my every thought anymore.


Tommy and I are "trying" again. I was just so sure that we would get it on the first try but that didn't happen. I ended up going through an entire box of pregnancy tests a few weeks ago. I tested very early because I could not stand it. Tommy kept telling me to wait until day 18 post ovulation to see if my temperature was still high but I couldn't do that, impatient much?. It was disappointing to keep seeing only one line. I was just so sure that it would happen. Alas, here I sit anxiously waiting to start the whole pregnancy thing over again. I don't look forward to the morning sickness but it is all so worth it.

My garden is doing well. The unexpected pumpkin vine is ginormous. Seriously. I have never grown one before so I have no idea what to expect. Tommy has been busy fixing up our boat. It is the boat that my parents got when I was little. I have so many fond memeories of family outings on that boat. My grandpa used it for several years and then it has been resting at my brothers. Tommy got it a few weeks ago and has been working on getting it water ready at a friend's house. I'm somewhat excited to see the finished product. It will be fun for us to have a little boat to go out on and go fishing. Summer is finally here and that makes me happy. I'm looking forward to the 4th of July weekend and a day off. We don't have any plans as of right now other than a little block party with some of my neighbors tomorrow night. I hope that everyone has a safe and fun-filled 4th!