not giving up

The other day I mentioned that I was having a hard time keeping up with Lucy's daytime feedings. Fast forward to today and she is now eating cereal twice a day and taking at least one 8 ounce bottle at the sitter's. The other bottle she takes is 5 ounces. Another ounce goes with her cereal. Um, yeah that is a lot of ounces and momma is having a difficult time.

When I was pregnant with Lucy I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. In my mind there was not another option. It has been such a stressful thing for me lately, but I'm not giving up. At the beginning of August my supply drastically dropped. I spoke with my Dr. and a lactation consultant from the hospital where I delivered. After some discussion we decided that it was best for me to stop taking birth control. It did not take long at all for my supply to jump back up. Now here I am two months later in a similar situation. I called the lactation consultant again today. We discussed a normal day for Lucy and I to try to figure out what I can do. Basically I'm already doing everything that she suggested. She said that I could try to take an herb called Fenugreek. After doing a little research I decided to give it a try. I am set on not giving her any formula even if it means that I have to get up in the middle of the night to pump!! The down side to being so dedicated to this is that I feel like my life revolves around my boobs. I'm constantly thinking about when I need to pump again or when Lucy will want to nurse again. It is wearing me down. I feel like I have not been very attentive in the other areas of my life. I don't even remember what I ate for lunch today. Most of the time when someone is talking to me I have to make an effort to pay attention to what they are saying. I'm not myself and it sucks. Is it worth it? Absolutly. Will we get over this hump? Sure. Will I be a little out of sorts until then? Most likely. Bear with me friends and family it might be a little rough for a while.