I showed this picture to Tommy this morning and he asked who took it. I told him I didn't know, but asked if he knew who it was. He studied it for a moment and said, "Well, I guess your mom but it really looks like you." I've been told that many times.
Twenty eight years ago at 6:45 p.m. I came into this world. I was even born on a Thursday. My mom looks so happy here finally able to hold her first born. Wow. What a feeling I'm sure. I look like I'm taking it all in with my little hand under my chin.
Today I have thought a lot about being a mom and the privilege it really is. I know how much I have grieved over the loss of our baby and how badly we want to be parents. It makes me appreciate my parents even more. Without their love and willingness to bring me into this world I would not be the person I am today. I am a better person because of them. My mom is always there for me. She was there for me last year on my birthday when my Dr. decided that he needed to do a lumbar puncture on me right then. She was also there for me on the darkest day, the day I found out there was no longer a heartbeat inside of me. My dad is always there as well, he is just much more quiet about his ways. If something goes wrong around the house I often don't turn to Tommy I want to know what dad thinks. I think this sometimes annoys Tommy. It's difficult to stop that habit though because my father is one of those guys who can fix everything. I'm lucky to have parents that have stayed together through it all and raised my brothers and I in a loving home. Thank you mom and dad for everything...
On another note, I now have the honor of sharing my birthday with my new niece. Tommy's sister had her this morning by C-section. He talked with her it sounds like everyone is doing great. I have even see a picture of her thanks to the technology of picture messaging! She is tiny any beautiful. We will be able to meet her in a few weeks. While I'm excited for their family, I also cried for about 15 minutes after he hung up the phone because I was sad. I have a feeling those "crying" moments are going to come and go as the next week gets here. I will push through and come out on top.
5 comments:
Happy Birthday, Jess! I sure miss you. Hope you had a great day.
Wow, Jess, you REALLY do look like your mom. The similarity is amazing. This was a beautiful post. You are definitely in my thoughts over the next week and you are right, you will push through and come out on top. You might be "lilmoxey" but you could just as easily be called "bigmoxie", because you've got tons of it. :)
Congrats on the new niece, she is so lucky to have you as her aunt! :)
Jess,
Hope your Birthday is great!! I'll be thinking of you!! I agree also you do look a lot like your mom. Hang in there and enjoy you special day.
Miss ya-Michelle
Hi Jess,
Wow, no family resemblance there whatsoever! :)
Oh, girlie, I feel your pain. I have anxiety every year around the time of our due date, and each year it is hard, although I can tell you, it does get a little easier as the years pass. You won't ever forget, but the pain does lessen. You will make it through it - spend some time with Tommy, blog, bead, etc... It really did help me to kind of keep my mind occupied to get through the day.
You'll be in my prayers, Jess. I look forward to meeting you in person at Kimberly's shower tomorrow! (and giving you a big ol' hug!)
Hi!
I just found your blog when I was reading Angie's. I followed your link to the bead sight and found some things that I'd been looking for forever! Thanks so much! Also, I lost a baby shortly after birth, and the pain never really goes away. We hang a little star on our Christmas tree every year in her honor and memory. I guess we never get over all of the "what if's and wonders" about the little life lost. Be gentle with yourself and cry when you need to!
Again, thanks for the bead info, it made my day!
Deb in VA
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